If you are going through a disagreement with your spouse, you don’t have to worry because you are not alone. Even the most compatible couples can find themselves in an argument with one another from time to time. Some disagreements may stem from small misunderstandings while others might be of more serious and complicated matters. Whatever the reasons there may be, the most essential relationship advice is to make sure that both parties involved deal with the problem fairly. Here are some steps you can follow so you can have a fair fight with your spouse:
Acknowledge your negative emotions
The first thing that both you and your spouse should do is acknowledge whatever negative emotions you are harboring against the other, but don’t say anything just yet. If you are angry at your spouse for something he or she has done, then be honest with yourself. Remember that it is alright to feel angry or hurt. Don’t pretend you are okay when you are not because this will only complicate things later on.
Allow each other to cool down and think of what to say
When both of you have acknowledged your anger and dissatisfaction, it is normal to feel the need to verbally vent out your frustration and start pointing out faults. However, always hold your tongue and make it a point to be tactful. But, this can be rather tricky, especially in such an emotional situation. If you find it difficult to express your thoughts constructively, then pause for a while and allow each other to cool down and think of what to say.
Express your grievances constructively
It is important that you are able to relay your thoughts and grievances. Be honest with your spouse and tell him or her what you really want to say, but in a tactful and constructive way. Expressing yourself constructively means avoiding hurting or sarcastic comments that will only aggravate the situation. Do not bring up past mistakes or issues that are not related to the current problem. Remember that the fight is meant to be a medium for you to resolve your problems and not a way to get even or hurt your spouse.
Take turns listening
Always keep in mind that fighting fairly means allowing each other equal opportunities to express yourselves. Before you speak, ask your spouse to listen first and argue his or her side later. Do the same when it is your spouse’s turn. Listen carefully to what he or she has to say and do not interrupt.
Allow the moment and issues to sink in
After you have explained your grievances, allow your spouse and yourself a moment of silence and let the issues sink in. This will allow both parties to focus on the problem at hand and, at the same time, regain control over emotions. This interval can last a few minutes or even hours, depending on how ready you are to move on to the next step.
Apologize and come up with a solution
It does not matter who started the fight, the important thing is that both of you acknowledge your mistakes and apologize sincerely to one another. Being apologetic will allow both of you to mutually solve the conflict.
Learn from the problem but leave it in the past
Reconciliation should end in an apology. Both you and your spouse should learn from what happened and make it a point to leave it in the past. Do not dig up the problem after it has been resolved.
Fighting is a healthy part of every relationship. It helps both parties improve the relationship and grow as individuals.
Remember that we are all different
and we react in different ways.Most importantly, pray to God that he will help you with your relationship. Read your Bible and Pray everyday. The closer you get to God, the closer you and your spouse will grow together. All things are possible with God.
I recommend that every one read this book,
"The 5 Love Languages
", The Secret to Love That Lasts.By Gary Chapman
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.
A Prayer From Jesus
ReplyDeleteJesus I brought this prayer to your people and they rejected it. So I added a comment on the importance of this prayer and your plan of Salvation, again no responses. Finally with fire and brimstone, mentioned their destination, it was as if they could not even hear.
Jesus am I to be a profit as unto Jeremiah or like unto Jonah. I fell like Jonah, no matter what I want to do, You all ways command me to do this small task, deliver Your prayer. Except the results are as unto Jermiah. When not one obeyed when You said, they will find safety out of the city.
Jesus, you created me as neither but one of power, in Jesus NAME. Devil in the NAME of JESUS I bind you in Jesus name. Release your hold on those who will be called, son's of Jesus. I command you in JESUS NAME to be gone from all who read this post, in Jesus Name. For the glory is yours alone Jesus. I lift your Name up in Praise now, Lord Jesus. Open my eyes in Jesus Name and let me receive from You, this very hour in JESUS NAME.
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- A PRAYER FROM JESUS -
This prayer is from Jesus that we may hear from Him, that He may speak to our hearts. It only consist of three simple steps.
1, We need to read one scripture. This will focus us in the word that brings everlasting life.
2, Since this prayer is from Jesus we need to direct our prayer to Him personally. Too often Christian focuses they're prayer's to G_D or Father. Scripture proclaims, that Jesus should be the focus of our prayer.
3, The simplest part of this Prayer is to ask Jesus one question. Please, all that is required for this question is that it should be simple. Let Jesus Himself finish the question when He gives you that understanding through this prayer.
The PRAYER
A) The scripture that is the focus of this prayer is "ACTS 2:38". It's not necessary to do any study into this scripture. Jesus will give you the understanding that will resonate in your heart. Just read Acts 2:38, keep it in your heart and take this one scripture to prayer
B) The most important part of this prayer is that we need to direct our prayer directly to Jesus. If you normally would say Father in your prayer, change your focus from the Father to Jesus, by lifting Jesus name up every time you would normally use Father in your prayer.
C) Maybe the hardest part of this prayer is the question that we need to ask Jesus. For man is always trying to understand the question, instead of listening to the answer. The simplest question is all that is required.
Simply ask Jesus, 'WHY'?
For those who are obedient
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